As a parent of a teenager you can no longer choose her friends and control her environment like you did when she was younger. However, a good way to still have power in her life is to connect with her on a regular basis so that you remain a strong presence in her life. Try to connect with your daughter for at least twenty minutes of uninterrupted time every day to stay current with what is happening in her life. This is not a time to preach at her, give her lessons or 'freak out' if she tells you something scary. If your daughter learns that you will listen to her and she can go to you, then you can help her to problem solve some issues she may be facing. If she feels that you help her to problem solve rather than tell her what to do, then she will be more willing to open up to you.

If you are having trouble getting her to open up, I would encourage you to drive her to her activities and just generally ask how things are going, take her out for dinner (just you and her) or for coffee to show her that you accept her and want to know who she is becoming.

Of course, you are her parent first, before her friend, and still need to set boundaries. Teens want their parents to notice how they are maturing and their ability to make more choices for themselves. I would encourage you to appeal to this side of her and talk to her about the ground rules for the home and what she thinks are fair consequences for breaking these rules. While you don't have to follow what she suggests, having her be a part of the process will help her to see that you notice she is growing and can take more responsibility.

Work/family balance demands shift over one's life ( e.g. developing a couple relationship, beginning a family and parenting, parenting of teens, elder care issues and "sandwich generation" issues). Over 80% of workers live in a family household, and are balancing family demands with work. This is a workplace issue!