I am not referring to the Bill Murray movie of a few years ago about the US actor who seems to be baffled by the complexities of Japan. I am referring to the study of Chinese language and culture.

I started to study Mandarin (Putonghua) Chinese back in 1996 when I first began my journey of 1000 miles. I had a few lessons, bought a book, jumped on a plane and learned as I went. This is good as I was able to communicate in China but I always felt that my skills needed to be refined so shortly after joining CCBC, I decided to take lessons to perfect my speaking skills and to enlarge my vocabulary.

Luckily for me, I found a great teacher by the name of Wang Mei, who was a former professor of economics at a major Beijing university.

Mandarin is not an exact language so it is open to many translations. Mandarin is actually the Beijing dialect and after 1949 became the official language of the PRC. China has many dialects or local languages. Mandarin has four tones and if spoken wrong, the word is different and the meanings change dramatically. This leads to some interesting and sometimes embarrassing occasions.

The word ma, spoken using the first tone is different than ma using the third tone. The former is your mother and the latter is a horse. So if said wrong, it is possible for your mother to have won the third race at Mohawk. My favorite is the word wen. This word said with the third tone means kiss but with the forth tone means to ask a question. Earlier this year in Shenyang, I decided to demonstrate my skill (or lack of it) and make a speech in Mandarin, albeit a short one. At the end of the presentation, I said that if anyone has any questions, please ask me. In mandarin, I said "ni you wenti, lai wen wo". Alas, despite Hua telling me over and over to say wen with a hard forth tone, I said it with a third tone and ended up with audience laughing as I asked them to kiss me if they had a problem.

The development and meaning of the Chinese characters (zhongwen) is fascinating as it has given me a greater understanding of the culture. The characters tell a story of history and I try to learn around 10 a week. The average Chinese person needs around 1500 to read a newspaper and the average university grad knows around 4000. I guess at 10 a week, I have a long way to go.

The purpose of the story is to tell you that if you want to deal with China, learn some language and phrases and don't be afraid to make a mistake. People appreciate the effort. If you have any questions, please ask me, just don't kiss me.